Mummy flu.

Wake up, head pounding. Sinuses are throbbing. Breathing is hard.

Forcing my body out of bed, into motion. Trousers on, t-shirt pulled over aching head. Tramp downstairs to let dog outside. Wellies on, trudging through the mud, hunched up against the driving rain.

Chickens jump squawking from their house. Fill pellet holder, check their water, trudge back to the house, dog jumping up my leg, sloughing muddy paws across trousers.

Mini Monster 2 comes downstairs, shouting as he comes. ‘Milk mummy. Want breakfast. Milk. Milk. Milk.’

Place bowl on table filled with cheerios and milk. More milk in a cup with a straw. MM2 starts to eat, dripping milk and wheat circles across the table and his knees on the journey to his mouth.

Mini Monster 1 wanders in quietly. ‘I’m hungry’.

Weetabix in a bowl with milk, splash of sugar. Drag chair closer to table, MM1 eats.

The cat miaows.

Squeeze lumps of sticky, drippy meat product from a sachet. Shuffle through to the hall, place plastic bowl on the floor, stroke cat from head to tip of tail.

Respond to demand to provide MM1 with yoghurt.

Flick kettle on.

Pour water onto lemsip. Sit down, relax backwards. Acknowledge drumming in head and stuffed ache running across my face.

MM2 requests a yoghurt. With emphasis on requests.

The dog whines.

Mr G enters the kitchen.

Time passes in a dozy haze. Sausage and egg, dosed in ketchup, held between bread. Placed in my lap.

Scoop dry, coloured shapes into the dog’s bowl.

The clock ticks. MM2 slides through the doorway. ‘Want food. Want biscuits. Want food mummy.’

Back to the kitchen, shoulders heavy, head down. Bread, cheese, cucumber, no butter. MM1. Bread, butter, no filling. MM2. Salt and vinegar crisps. MM1. Quavers. MM2. Fizzy water. MM1. Tap water. MM2.

More lemsip.

Remove the plastic cat bowl from the dog’s bed before she crunches through the plastic completely.

Waiting for 6pm.

Cottage pie and green peas. Cake and milk for the children.

No more meals to provide. Mummy chores complete. Bed calls.

The cat miaows.

About Piper George

Wife, mother, puppy chaser extraordinaire. Freelance copy-writer and blogger! Life is full of opportunities - it's having the time to grab them that's hard.

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Comments

Mummy flu. — 15 Comments

        • LOL. I know! Twice regurgitated cow pats! Bleurgh.
          Coal, socks, shoes, a mobile phone – I reckon this puppy has cost me over £300 in replacement items to friends and children.

          • Also the interesting tendancy to roll in disgusting stuff, thats fairly hard to handle when the stinking creature is sitting next to you in the car as you return from a walk..

            • Oops – and apparently loose pieces of skirting. Mr G and the puppy are now having words 🙂
              I don’t mind the howling, I expected that when we chose a beagle. But chasing cars. And tractors. And bicycles. That’s aggravating!

              • Barking at the neighbours every time they have the temerity to go into their own gardens is my current irritation, skirting is a new one on me, I will have to watch out for that

                • Luckily we have a lot of space between us and the neighbours. But every Tuesday and Thursday the kids from the nearby school do a cross country run across the bottom field. It takes them about 30 minutes to all run past, including stragglers. The barking and frantic sprinting from window to window is excessive. My issues are definitely destructiveness and sudden chronic deafness.

                  Have you tried those water collars that squirt every time she barks? I haven’t but they are meant to work.

                    • And expensive! You can get correctional spray collars at the pet shops – they spray citronella and it’s meant to put make the dog stop whatever bad behaviour they have. Although it didn’t work when I sprayed my trainers with it!

                    • If the dog is happy playing in a garden sprinkler i doubt if a water spraying collar would work… Citonella would probably be classed as potential food for my one 🙁

  1. Oh, you poor thing! Rich woke up with a terrible head cold this morning and has been miserable all day. I convinced him to stay home from work tomorrow. Hope you get to feeling better soon, Piper.

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