Time to take a stance.

There is a point we reach where we wonder, should I just stop trying?

I expect there is some sort of thought-provoking, inspirational quote from a world leading athlete which would say something along the lines of ‘you have to push past this point and keep going to succeed’.

I am sure that is true. In competition, in business, at work – in some sort of activity or task, I guess the millionaires, world changers, politicians and scientists are those who don’t give up, who forge ahead despite all obstacles in their way.

But when it comes to people and relationships there is a point when I wonder, is it ok to just stop trying?

Consider a relationship with friends. If the friendship is one-sided – with one making all the effort to arrange meet ups, nights out and coffee mornings and the other never making that first move – at what point should they stop trying?

What about a relationship with a partner? Shared history, love and companionship can be hard to give up. But when the effort is one-sided, at what point should you end it?

Harder still is the decision to stop trying with family.

Calling time does not mean necessarily to give up. It doesn’t have to be a negative to realise that being constantly rebuffed can be harmful to your self-esteem, depressing, demotivating and tiring.

Taking a stance, saying ‘no more’ can be a sign of strength. Choosing to put yourself first is not always selfish, sometimes it is self-preserving.

The hardest part seems to be recognising when that time has come.

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Time to take a stance. — 8 Comments

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  2. When it comes to a relationship, knowing that coming together should make both of you more than you could be alone is something to keep in mind. If the relationship becomes one-sided, and there is no more “together,” then chances are the other person is holding you back simply by the time and effort you are putting in for the both of you. In short, take a stand. If that doesn’t work, keep standing and walk away. When it comes to family, that’s tougher. You can’t walk away from family. But you can still take a stand and, more than likely, re-define what your relationship with that family member will be in the future. Holiday visits only? Phone conversations or Social media contact only? I will be there for your funeral, so let’s keep in touch? That’s my two cents. or maybe three 😉

    • I’ll take three cents 😉
      Family certainly do make things harder. Although I found that when I had had my ‘own’ family it became easier to put them first. I choose my hubby and kids. I just have to keep that at the front of my mind 🙂

  3. It is absolutely okay to walk away. It isn’t “giving up.” And it isn’t weak. It is necessary sometimes.

    I enjoyed this post. The timing of it for me personally was great, too.

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  5. I find it hard to let go of people…be it family, friends or partners. At the moment, I feel like I need to walk away, but feel weak whenever I contemplate it. Maybe being weak is staying put? Being put upon and made to feel undervalued? Do what you need to to be happy 🙂 xx

    • Staying put is not necessarily weak, only you can decide that. Sometimes a relationship is worth the fight, sometimes it isn’t. Circumstances are different every time. But if you feel undervalued, you can always make changes to that without having to walk away. 🙂

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