Hello Apathy

It is a sneaky thing – apathy. It creeps up on you when you are not looking. There I was, starting Monday with my usual vigour and somehow apathy has taken over. Apathy kicked vigour’s butt!

I got the kids up, bathed, fed and off to school,  in freshly pressed uniform (Kid 1) and holding today’s favourite car (Kid 2). I walked the puppy, drove to town and collected the (expensively) cleaned wedding dress. (Suggestions on what to do with a used and slightly marked wedding dress are welcome.)

I also, in my capacity as treasurer of the After School Club (mental image of someone responsible and good at maths slightly ruined by the reality I see in the mirror), paid in their latest funds, balanced the books and wrote some cheques – is it odd that I quite enjoyed paying bills with someone else’s money? Of course it was someone else’s bills but you could say I spent some money today and it didn’t cost me anything.

I booked the pantomime for Christmas, sorted out some of my own paperwork and compared diaries for holiday cover with my mother. So – everything up to date! Roles as volunteer and as mother all running smoothly.

On to my role as self-employed worker! I checked my e-mail’s, sent some replies, picked up a pile of fresh new work to start. . .

Hello Apathy!

Bearing in mind that by now I have already spent 4 hours sitting at my laptop, I have not yet actually earned a penny. Yes, the admin of my life is complete. But the actual work – the part that pays the bills – is still lurking in the corner. But now my eyes are fuzzy, my brain is fried. I need to get started but the will  is just not there. I actually start looking about the room trying to think of other chores to do to legitimately put working off for a bit longer.

I think the computer is actually sucking the life right out of me through my eyes.

I need a way to get the umph back in my head. Meditation? A quick jog around the garden? More coffee? Something must do it.

So all you writers, home workers, readers who are currently browsing blogs and pretending you can’t see the work piling up behind you – what do you do to motivate yourselves? When you hit a block, how do you shift it? Let’s get the engines firing!

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Hello Apathy — 4 Comments

  1. so I have been dabbling in web design lately. Mostly what i have done thus far has been for free (to get my portfolio up to date) or I’ve traded services. So I haven’t made a dime either. Hard to get motivated when you don’t make much of anything off your work. But i know the feeling. My brain is fried…too much thinking. Mentally, I’m shot. Somehow I end up on facebook and a million other places I’m not supposed to be. Everything except do actual work! I think I take a break, drink more coffee or find something less stressful to do for an hour and then go back to it. Otherwise, I get nothing. And who needs that?

    I’m hoping to start up my own thing soon and make actual money from it, but we will see. Sometimes I feel too dumb to do it.

    • It’s good to take a break, walk away and do something completely different. The key for me is to set a target that I must accomplish every day, even if it is just to start one more job. That way I feel I am slowly winning.
      I am sure you are not too dumb – I do believe everyone is in control of their own lives. Set yourself a realistic goal, write out an action plan for the next month, and then you can do it all in bitesize chunks.
      Good luck.

  2. If my work that day is my writing, then I do it first thing –otherwise the dread will have time to build up and I won’t get there. The other important part is recognizing that from right early to mid afternoon h is a useless time of day. If I don’t have clearly defined tasks during that time, I just can’t stay on track. I try to do non-sitting non-thinking things during this low period instead (get my exercise, do the dishes). Sounds like afternoon might be a low time for you, too.

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