Hello. So somehow you have wandered into my blog, probably whilst looking for recipes for quick, easy and delicious white chocolate cheesecake (don’t worry, I’ll add a recipe later) or perhaps because you have been nagged to have a read by me and finally found yourself with time to spare and all the ironing done, or maybe, hopefully, you wanted to be here and spend 10 minutes lost in my ramblings while you slurp your hot coffee and absentmindedly nibble through half a packet of chocolate bourbons. And now you are wondering what is it all about anyway.
I considered a few titles. ‘Finding Myself’ was a possibility, except I am not lost. I know who I am and how I got here. It’s a bit grandiose for me. ‘New Starts’ or ‘Out with the Old, In with the New’ perhaps. Well, maybe there are some elements of that. But that’s not what it is all about. After all I like my life so far, there are definite elements of my life to date that I wouldn’t change for anything. I like them, I want to keep them.
So, ‘Grabbing a Chunk of the Cheesecake’ it is. (I did consider just the first 3 words but that sounds like this blog would head in a whole different direction to the one I am aiming for!) What am I doing? I am moving on with life, taking what I have and what is being thrown my way and mashing it all together to see what comes out the other side.
A fortnight ago I was made redundant. It wasn’t a shock, we had been told it was coming at least 6 months ago. There was time to prepare. But of course, few people did.
Around 3 months ago, perhaps some awareness of the change ahead did permeate my daily routine, because I did suddenly decide it was time to stop saying ‘one day’ and start making things happen. Oh, not to do with my career, looming redundancy or anything useful. Nope, I decided it was time to go on a diet and give up smoking.
Two months ago some small but determined part of my consciousness did send up a few damp rockets. ‘Hey you,’ it squealed in a barely audible monotone, ‘Get off your butt. Do some training. Write a C.V. Find a future.’ I put some small part of my attention to a C.V., I even applied for a few jobs. And I made a lot of humorless jokes to my workmates about being the last to find work. Guess what, I was right.
One month ago I decided that I didn’t really like my current job anyway, or the industry, or the hours (although I did like the pay packet, but surely money isn’t everything. Is it? That’s a discussion for another day!) So I debated a career change. A new course. What should I be? Accountants earn ok. The police might be fulfilling. Charity work would make me feel like a better person. Decisions, decisions!
Today, where am I? Right. Part way through a diet. Ok, I cheat a lot but overall I am 2.5 stone down. One to go. I have mostly stopped smoking. Except when drinking or within 10 feet of my sister-not-in-law. I have signed up to a course with various elements of writing, proofreading and editing. I have yet to start it. I am looking into a few career options. Possibly the biggest change to come is – I am getting married.
And – I have started a blog. It’s not an earth shattering new approach to understanding life. It’s not going to be a daily monotone of what I cooked for dinner, how many nappies I have changed and why all my socks have holes in them. It’s just a start for me to try out some new ideas, practise some writing and encourage myself (and maybe even a few others) to try new things.
So no new start, nothing old being thrown out, nothing new being brought in. Just reaching inside, finding elements of my life that were already there and dragging them further into the light, where I can pick them up, turn them over and see if I like them. I will make mistakes (after all, that’s why there is an ‘edit’ button), I will start things and not finish them and I will no doubt blog about things other people just didn’t want to know about me!
Well here goes!
Oh – and why cheesecake? Because I love it!